I love my daughter and i care about my wife but there is no love on my end. I was By entering this site you declare First, she's too far along. Once the humiliation of being in a loveless marriage is confronted, it can be accepted and even result in a long-term relationship. I know he can tell I'm not in love with him and I think he thinks he's in love with me ( told me he loved me only after 3 weeks of dating, should've been my first red flag there) anywho we don't really fight a lot and are mostly very friendly around eachother and really do try to make it work but when he gets in his moods I just can't he got drunk one night and almost ran us off the road after telling me he was fine ( he really was acting completely fine) then when I screamed due to being terifed he yelled at me, took away my phone and told me to get out of the house , which I did. I am a single mom and have been for a few years- however, my first child was planned with my fiance' and we were madly in love and it was the greatest, happiest time of my life. I need help moving on. Sorry to say this, but your gf cannot be trusted. Sucked it up and did what I had to do for my kids. If thats all he wants, he will be gone. Be mature about it don't depend on her to be safe you be safe, if she don't comply then don't have sex! Mia, the fascinating thing about postpartum depression and anxiety is that it isn't logical. If I do something to hurt their father then im hurting my children because they love him. FTM. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. This after-pregnancy condition is common, with roughly 70 to 80 percent of new mamas experiencing some degree of sadness. When he acts OK with the idea and his first instinct is to be happy, you can be sure it's one of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you. Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to give you an example of how the other side of things could go. DO YOU WANT TO CHILD TO HAVE A MESSED UP UPBRINGING LIKE YOU DID? The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. Here Are 10 Behaviors A Woman Exhibits When She's In Love 1. Twins & Multiples: Your Tentative Time Table, Planned c section too presumptuous??? Steve. My eldest is 3 then one nearly 2 and one due any time, we dont fight too much but dont love each other, dont even like each other, I just dont want the kids not to have family days and stuff? Begin speaking about the kids, as well, mentioning different accomplishments they've made lately . On top of that, my age (early forties) scared me into accepting the situation thinking that i am too old to start all over again and wasting more time. Couples do stay together when they are not in love, just for the sake of stability for the child. Keep looking down and feeling like you don't deserve something good won't get you anywhere. I want to be a father!!! . Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. You are in control of your life. It doesn't, does it? So are you guys in a relationship or just friend with benefits? All i will advice him to do is to sit the girl in question down and talk to her in a matured way. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. No going back. I unfortunately love my ex I have tried to forgets my ex but I can't. We work hard to share our most timely and active conversations with you. Rejecting your man's baby mama is almost the same as rejecting your boyfriend's child and you don't want to do that. I have many regrets from the past and can't bear to add another one to the long list. After all, what is marriage if there is no happiness? Either way, I was ready to "play house". My ex boyfriend keeps liking my photos. Is it okay for you to feel down all the time thinking about the mistake you did? I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. Body after birth: 18 post-pregnancy changes to look out for the woman would be unhappy, miserable and resentful as well in the long run for marrying a man who doesnt love her or care if she exists. what is de main reason why u do not love her?? The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. To not make the problem goes worse, be responsible for your unwanted partner and the baby. But, learning from the past and making it as a lesson is a different story. Hi everyone! Eventually I grew to love him, but not the fairy tale kind of love. For more information, please see our That showed up as a third factor." "Once you cross that line, look for life to get easier in every way. "And Maggie Makes Three" is the thirteenth episode of the sixth season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. Good luck! I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. Has it ever gotten better. As for my girlfriend, I love this person and i will do my best to make it work out. Okay so long story very short my ex gi Long story short, My current girlfriend keeps in contact wit Long story short. She is a good person, and a fantastic catch for somebody unfortunately that person is not me. Find out to see whether he actually likes you by taking this quick free quiz. Having a baby is a life-changing experience and many want to ensure they do it at a time that is right for them. AND NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE HAPPY IF IT IS. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. Time passed and we just got comfortable being there. Yes, you can still be happy in a relationship without being married. That doesn't mean you give up your relationship w/the child, you will have to share custody, and likely pay support (unless you have the kid more than she does, but that's rare). If you want to be a dad, the fear that you'll only see your kid every other weekend and maybe once a week is legit. I have heard that arranged marriages actually have a better long term outcome because of this. There are many things that may cause a broken heart. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. Shy behavior A woman who is in love with you will start to be unusually shy. You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. Damaged. Being in a loveless relationship is not a good example for the LO you already have and the one on the way. We are two total opposite people. You're a dude she just met, maybe at a bar, maybe on a dating site. I have 6 sisters and three brothers. You do make a lot of sense and i guess this is the only way forward. Time to grow up! It's why your lady friend just said those two possibly thrilling, possibly terrifying words: "I'm pregnant." So what do you say when the woman you. Add to Collection. They finally divorced when I was 19. My girlfriend and I just broke up and she's 3 months pregnant. But shes not the type, shes fond of me un-necessarily. Sex is the leading cause of babies. He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. We had two kidsnice little family unit. I've been trying to put my pride/ego/whatever aside and be with her, but it really kills me. Surprise Pregnancy? Here's All of the Advice a Man Needs | GQ It wasn't working out before she got pregnant and now it's 100x worse because of her hormones. It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . I got pregnant and was pressured to get married. By Kate Spencer Published: Apr 27, 2016 UNIVERSAL PICTURES | LAYNEELU/IMGUR AGE 6 I. I want to come home from work to my son EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK, but I can't if me and the mother aren't together. Ask Polly: Why Do Women Obsess About Babies and Fertility? - The Cut Why would you do that? U r runnin away from marriage cos u didn love her b4 ?? I My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. Now it is tearing me apart. Will you make a better progress by doing so? Would I do it again? Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. ( though I dont see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. He's not in love so he's selfish??? It's that type of kindness you feel toward someone who's very close to your heart. I dont want to jump into marriage as if its a job contract I am signing expecting that one day it will expire. Having a baby with someone you don't love. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. well you could say society won because it was able to force a marriage albeit a miserable one. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! You will need to end an unwanted relationship. I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. You wouldn't happen to be burning a bra right about now would you? She needs someone that truly loves her. I don't love my colleague, but she's having my baby He bought it and it is in his name. i know for sure u dated her for longer b4 she got pregnant start looking at the quality this gal have n think of ur daughter after that give her a chance n delete that mind of not loving her out of ur mind n married her ..am sure God will give u new hrt to love her.. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). "We are. If you break up right away, she can take the kid and you may miss a lot of the firsts w/them growing up. He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. Fertility is amazing, making a baby with your own body is an unreal magical power, feeding that baby with your body is some kind of sci-fi-fantasy level of madness. No need to waste time your life and time on him. You're a mom now. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. Good one boys real mature!! I love my child-free life. Why do other people have such a problem with it? That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. He's controlling. Plan the best decision that both of you can have to take a good care of the baby. The altnerative is to stay with a woman you don't love and that is a lose-lose all around, even for the kid who will be able to sense his parents don't love each other. Glancing over my shoulder in a coffee shop, I saw a couple of women, both bouncing perfectly content babies on their laps. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. K lemme get one thing straight. More answers below Quora User Managing Partner (Solicitor) & Mechanical Engineer Author has 20.3K answers and 10.7M answer views 1 y Personally, I think you should only have sex with people you are in love with. 9 min read. The guy I was seeing was fun to party with but I didn't love him. That's what we tackle in today's blog. The "baby blues" are a form of depression - just not as severe as PPD. Single mums by choice; meet the women who decided to have - Stylist We are deciding if we should divorce now or later when she is bigger. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. My pregnant girlfriend doesnt seem to want me around. Asking why you had sex with her in the first place wont solve this problem cos its everywhere in our societies and its just unfortunate your hit and run opportunity couldnt worked out. Maybe you will need to learn on how to get revenge on a frenemy. His baby mama got engaged to some dude while pregnant calls her fiance the kid's 'daddy', despite my friend wanting to be a father to his child. Eight women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s spoke to Insider about their decision to be child-free. Best of luck. I know things would be going so much smoother in my life if I wasn't preggo but there hasn't been a day I questioned my love for this baby. I know daddies who didn't feel a connection to their babies until they held them for the first time and like someone else said, maybe that'll be the case for you. Girlfriend Brokeup while pregnant. Why Do Women Marry Men They Don't Love? - Medium ( though I don't see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. Women, in particular, have a growing awareness of the benefits of having babies when they're ready and not having more than they can provide for. I'm curious to find out how it turned out for you. We tried to make it work. WTF re u saying tat u will nt marry her if I was tat gal u will marry by force so tat when u die n return u will fu*k people that u love total rubbish.Now u want freedom my ass u wont get so whos gonna to marry ur baby mommy?? General Baby Shower Wishes And Congratulations. Yes, her hormones will be out of whack. SEE THEM EVERYDAY. She doesn't want an abortion, and I know it sounds terrible but I keep hoping she will miscarry, however she is 16weeks gone and that's unlikely . As I said earlier, each person has different needs. Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? In order to fully understand why I've come to this conclusion on why men stop wanting sex with women they're in a relationship with, it's important to understand every part of the reality dose . When Bonding Isn't Immediate: Feeling Like You Don't Love Your Baby if she wants to put kid in day care every day, she can and you pay for it). Everything that we do, we have to bear all consequences. They didn't want to break up the family. My Best Friend's Daughter Called ME Daddy While I Popped Her Cherry After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. Babies can put stress on a couple because it requires both mom and dad to give of themselves. 24 big signs a man wants to have a baby with you - Ideapod In 2017 I decided it was about time I started a blog on the topic, and since then more than 2 million people worldwide have read my relationship advice. And when the oldest child was about 10, I finally left. Obviously she is going to get custody if we split up. SHE DESERVES A SAYING IN THIS! But we started fighting more and more. A friend of mine just had a kid w/ someone 1-2 weeks before meeting his current GF (who he loves but is probably leaving him over this - who can blame her?) What kind of advice do you really want, the best advice would be to take care of your baby, dont let yours and your other half (lool) silly selves to pollute her upbringing. Unfortunately it only lasted 4 and half years because he was becoming abusive. And remember, folks who don't want kids don't want kids. It will not update but downgrade yourself. Forgotting that there's gonna be 3 children in his life forever? my point is no one really wins in this situation. My Boyfriend Wants To Have A Baby With Another Woman marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. After all, a 70-year-old guy can still have kids. Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. Now she's pregnant. If You Don't Want a Baby, Just Don't Have Sex? | Libby Anne 37 weeks today. "All of the rational thoughts. Maybe he doesn't like being used. My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With I pretended to be. She doesn't deserve that. Do not be with someone you don't want to be with. To imagine her saying, "I'm here for you baby." We all need more than the . I too got burned with the kid trap. If you don't, pursuing. And Maggie Makes Three - Wikipedia A. Anyway, if you don't want to be with her, make that very clear. I'm a **** if I lie and say I love her and be with her. Sounds like she was looking for a sugar daddy and ended up getting pregnant. No one can tell you what to do, we all have different stories. But there's something extraordinary about the energy level of a little boy. YES PRO-LIFE HOWEVER THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY COULD YOU PROVIDE THE BEST FOR THE CHILD? Why I'm Having a Baby Without Getting Married First - Insider The Preferential Parent. So remember to try to be the best of you. The preferential parent is a parent who loves one child, the " golden child ," but doesn't love the other (or others), a " scapegoat .". I know that my kids love us both. MUST READ: Is Christmas Bibilical Or Paganism? For many, it was an easy decision that often came down to a gut feeling and the common refrain that. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. Life is too short to spend even one month chained to someone you're not in love with. If it gets closer to your due date though, and you feel like nothing's changed, I do think it'd be a good idea to consider adoption. You have a hard decision to make. How Having a Baby Affects Your Relationship With Your Partner I mean really a woman gets pregnant with your child and there are no options but to marry her? It wasn't ideal but eventually I got a better job and bought myself a nice car. They were always fighting. First step: Don't rush things. The longer you stay with him the more he's going to think you do have feelings for him and it will only hurt him more in the end. What is it like to have a baby with someone you don't want to have a He's controlling you since you are 100% dependent on him. You have to do what you feel is right. This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. If only i had acted 2-3 years ago when things were simpler and i was a little younger. Welcome! Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. I am 39 soon to be 40 in 2 months. My boyfriend and I have only been together since November we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. Oh, I agree 100%. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. Reach out to your family and let them know what's going on. You will love that baby no matter what when it gets here! Lana Del Rey - Black Beauty Lyrics | AZLyrics.com 15 Reasons Some Moms Don't Bond With Their Baby - BabyGaga Life is beautiful but you don't have a clue Sun and ocean blue Their magnificence, it don't make sense to you Black beauty, oh oh oh Black beauty, oh oh oh I paint the house black My wedding dress black leather too You have no room for light Love is lost on you I keep my lips red To seem like cherries in the spring Darling, you can't let everything Does he still love me? It stressed us kids out like you wouldn't believe, all the kids are dysfunctional, serious trust issues. Back then I loved her and I felt sorry for her because she took the decision of getting marry to me even though she didn't love me. Grown apart and have no interest in each others lives! There are days I hate being pregnant and days I could swear I even hate him. know it's right to give her the fact straight but she is just a really nice person, and I feel really **** you know! 3 Reasons Men Stop Having Sex With Women They Say They Love - YourTango Your bodies will fit together perfectly. @jessi, LMFAOI like ur commentVery BLUNT and to the POINT. Sex can lead to pregnancy and I'm assuming you knew the possibility of pregnancy when you made the choice. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. Get Your Sex Life Back After Baby - WebMD You should do what will make you happy. I know most of yall are gonna tell me to leave him and I wish it was that easy. Satisfaction can be found through bringing up children . Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. No passion. @Teejay,hahahahaha, that cracked me up, but coming back to the issue, what da hell???? I tried to keep them happy and not see the fighting. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. Firstly, I am sending my regards to you all. I can't bear the thought of breaking up and not being a part to this child's upbringing. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. Is she shaka Zulu or she is not attracted to u?? SCENARIO 4: BE TRUTHFUL TO THE PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND AND LET HER ALSO HAVE SAY AS TO WHAT SHE WANTS. Probably. Amazed how women can be on these forums. You need to get in contact with services and leave. Third, if someone chooses to have an abortion that is their choice, not yours. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. How can I live with a loveless marriage? - the Guardian Whether the mistake were made with or without your intention, it still your mistake anyway. So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. And you will also need to take a firm decision on what you think is best to be done. Learn more about, Realizing I Had PPD After Returning to Work as a Soldier in the U.S. Army, Planned c section too presumptuous??? Does anyone relate? It may be tolerable now, but it sounds like you are unhappy. No we were together 3 months when I got pregnant. Op: get a job and support yourself. You don't want support, you just want to hear he is a bad guy and you are a victim. For all the guys out there who think a woman is the stepping stone to the next onewear a condom. You could split amicably and try to remain friends to do what's best for the child. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. To help you make the fewest blunders possible, let me give you a few tips: 1.