Married, But Constantly Thinking About Someone Else There are four options if you find yourself thinking of someone else and are debating about or have already had an affair: End the affair with that other woman or man, and fix things with your marriage Stay in your marriage while continuing a relationship with that someone Right before I left my spouse threw a huge tantrum where he was punching Walls and he jumped out the car while I was driving. And I feel like we got married for many of the wrong reasons. She never was one to initiate anything sexual and at times how wed end up being intimate is kind of sad (wont write on this). At first I would answer with very friendly like responses,however, now we seem to have developed a physical and emotional relationship again, and my feelings have all come back. Interestingly enough, most people say YES, they would choosefalling back in love with their spouseafter an affair! He is supposed to make his final decision on Sat and Im terrified he will make the wrong choice and loose everything. You can influence, direct and control your own environment. Want it all but know I cant have it all and feel selfish for wanting it. I need help.. My husband and I have always been very close. After 23yrs apart hes now been in touch telling how he has been looking for me all these years and why i did not tell him if the pregnancy. The flame and the complicity between the two people were not being nurtured so the person who sought comfort outside of the relationship felt like they needed something that they werent receiving inside the relationship. TV Shows. Like anything of value, the love between two people needs to be maintained and taken care of. If, however, in your heart of hearts you feel ready to move on, I encourage you to download our product that is designed to show you how to do this with grace and peace of mind. I love this man so much with all my soul. So the very first thing that I invite you to do that will help you determine what is best for you, is to focus on the long-term results and consequences of any decision that you make right now. If you can make people feel important in a genuine way, then you can really reinforce the bond between you. Im emotionally and physically attracted to.him and I work closely with him every day. I want to move out, file for divorce so that we can be together but I know that doesnt make logical sense. Start to reintroduce romance and quality time spent together. And maybe he is, I do find myself calling him if I have a flat, or if my daughter needs something, or even if my account gets low and I need a few dollars to make sure it doesnt get into the negative. I ended up having an affair with the man I met at work, but in the end, he left to go back to his wife. Hi there, I encourage you to be careful with leaving one person for another. No intimacy, no affection and absolutely no making love for the past year and a half. Others have chosen toput their marriage back together, and have been very happy. It went awful, he went full on panic and defensive mode, and I just didnt know what to say anymore. Its hard bc I dont want to live without him, but also dont want him to be with me if he cannot be committed. Im just missing a connection, long talks, deep conversations, good sex, talking about problems, etc. So as I said, the key to making the right decision is weighing out the long-term consequences. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, so why is it that this guy stirs me up so much sexually. And this one really helped. The thing is, I dont talk to others about the issues I have with him. I highly encourage you to spend as much time with your parents and surround yourself with people that love and support you as you begin to exit this relationship. Im trying to look for answers I recently split with my boyfriend of 2 years got back together he proposed to me even though I told him to wait until we are back on track I love him but Im not in love with him I have strong feelings for someone I work with who has also told me he loves me and Im torn dont know what too do Im no longer the same person I was two years ago with my boyfriend and that the person I work with makes me feel loved and is more like me and we have more in common totally confused. But we are here to help you from A to Z, so lets get started! I cheat on my husband and became pregnant. If you're committed to making your marriage work, keeps asking, What is it going to take to be this fully expressed and alive me IN my marriage?. We all have our own way of experiencing and perceiving the world around us, but we also need to learn how to be patient with one another and see things from the other persons perspective. He either speaks frankly of his married life or avoids any mention of it. In my case I am married, been married for about 11 years, and throughout the marriage it has been nothing but infidelity, a child born out of wedlock and emotional and mental abuse, including rape. What was hurting me and why and what could we do to fix it. A friend introduced me to a friend that helped the situation and together we got my husband back on safe ground. We are together baby is here now. The way I always felt about my kids mother has always been there and I always told myself that If I could be with her again I would. I have been afraid to leave the marriage with fear of what he might do. Many times, when there is a disconnect between the two people in a marriage, one of them will seek comfort and validation from another person. However in their situation yes like the begining of every relationship its the honeymoon time but their relationship is so real that the honeymoon period lasted about two months they talk about everything with each other thats bothering them about their relationship wether it would hurt or not. With time, youll both start feeling, Im so in love with you and your bond can become stronger than ever. This poem really spelt out my thoughts. The emotional bond between us died down throughout the years, but our bond was always very solid. Im confused about this whole thing. That he is my go to guy. Im still married, but not a day goes by where I dont think about the other woman. Is it how they were raised? Last but not least, you need to really think about how this is going to affect your own life. My spouse is still abusive emotionally and mentally. Wishing you the best! I cringe at the thought of my husband touching me, but we have had some good times in bed but not many. Hi Jodi, thank you for sharing your story. How to make your boyfriend miss you: The EASIEST way! That person has now walked away to sort out his own life leaving me with a broken heart. Hi NMN, sometimes this sort of thing happens when there is a sense of monotony and predictability in a relationship, and youre craving something that feels fresh. We wish you the best of luck! But at the same time inside I feel ruined because I miss her and I wonder what if. It has been over a year since I have seen him, and I still feel as strongly about him as I did when he was in my life. Weve probably been close for about 4 years. Hmmm we seem to have something in common! She still contacts him. Dont make the mistake of spending all your free time on social media, interacting with your Friends on Facebook or Instagram instead of with your significant other. So when you aremarried and in love with someone else, who do you choose? How were you feeling in your marriage before this other person came along? I talk to him but when hes made up his mind it doesnt matter what anyone says. And then i met this guy, online from another country. I am so torn, as I love both my ex and my husband, but I dont know what to do. IMDb is the world's most popular and authoritative source for movie, TV and celebrity content. So even when things are rough and youre in a sticky situation because youremarried but in love with another manor woman, if you really want to repair things between you and your spouse youve got to control your temper. I could choose for her and end it all myself, but that is not what I want. Which I didnt want but I didnt want to keep fighting anymore and being told horrible things. It feels like my friend and I connect well spiritually, emotionally, through the way we were brought up, and we have great teamwork. We decided to have a second child and almost two years ago, our daughter was born, we married and moved into a bigger house and out of the city far out, with only fields and forest around us, like we dreamt of, when we were making Plans for our future life together. I dont feel like we explored each others interests enough. I feel like me and my kids mother were meant to be and she makes me feel wanted and loved and I cant control the way I feel about her . I would love to know your thoughts on two women bestfriends who fall in love with each other and both are married. Very torn. Even now with the chaos I am still in love with him but he has shown me a different side of him. In fact, you may even be feeling like they understand you better than anyone ever has before, like they make you feel things that youve never felt before, and maybe even that they make you feel more alive than anyone ever has before. We talked and he expressed his needs and I have changed everything that he has asked to show my devotion to our marriage. My husband and I have full custody but allow him to see baby 1 time a week. I have been married for 25 years to my best friend. The best thing would be to limit the amount of contact you have with your childs father. My husband works out of town and I found out he had been having an affair. Hi, I love your article. 3. For More Insights On How To Overcome Infidelity https://www.love.happilycommitted.com/infidelity-program-offer-page-ssfxnuquA client of mine came to me b. Together we can work on reaching your goal by providing you with a clear-cut action plan that has been tailor-made to fit your relationship, your situation, and your specific needs. I met someone. I hate being in this place emotionally. I feel trapped and alone and Ive lost the person I fell in love with as well. He doesnt want it to appear like he was waiting for this to happen and has admitted that he will give it time in case I did want to repair my marriage, but now that hes said that, I want him even more! If youre not happy with your spouse and you tried everything to make it work, then who are you fooling? It can be a challenging period, but if you take some time for yourself to heal and find clarity, you will find that this becomes easier. This is a big decision, so I highly recommend reaching out to us for one on one coaching so that we can ask you targetted questions, analyze your situation, and create a custom action plan. What situation puts you most of the risk of experiencing debilitating regrets later on in your life? An easy way to guard against this or restore the bond between you is to learn to identify and speak your spouses love language. 5. I ended up marrying someone else, and it was after this that we actually became close friends. I don't know how to explain the mystery of it but God sees you and your spouse as one from the time you knit your lives together in a marriage . However, were Christians and so it feels like we have to try. Hi Sharon, that is an interesting story indeed. but the one who has been with girls before which happens to be the one in the marriage that isnt working at all doesnt trust that her bestfriend / love of her life will leave her husband for her. We were best friends, lovers, the perfect match. So nowI am married but in love with someone elseand I really dont know what to do. I always told myself it isnt him even though I was falling for him during my high school and college time. Ive been searching the web for months now. That way we can ask you specific questions that will help us to determine the right plan of action. Is my relationship over: Heres how to know for sure! My family adores him and his family adores me. Once again, its all about seeking clarity! A month ago, my wife told me, she fell in love with another man and since then realized, what she was missing in our relationship, because she experienced feelings, she didnt feel for a long time. What does the aftermath of choosing one of these two people look like? Once things got extremely out of hand he decided he didnt want anything to do with me or our child. My marriage has its problems, but overall, my husband is wonderful. I want the marriage to work because of all the financial implications and I still care for him. In it, you will find many indicators and signs that will help you determine whether or not its time to leave this marriage. How to Overcome Long Term Infidelity Effects, The Art of a Good Marriage: A relationship coachs insight. And, yet, my spouse neglects me. That said, the first thing to do would com for hes a GOD on earth. By the 4th month of being away on business month I told my spouse i couldnt keep lying to myself or to him that I wanted a divorce and I was completely over this relationship. You're honest with them about your marital problems It's rather difficult keeping your marital problems secret since there will be times when you're going to need a fresh perspective on things. The alternative is, if you do feel you want to work at this and you do have interest to still pursue the partner, we have various options on how to move forward. I have been married for 4 years now with 2kids. Its been 12 years since the last time Ive dated this guy and I didnt think anything would happen considering he is married and has a daughter. He said he would stop so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and mostly because I didnt want to break up our family (at this point we had 2 daughters). Keep your friendship with your lover because friendship is long lasting than any love. Pls help me on hoe best to hanle this situation, thanks so much. He works out of town and I feed the dogs if our daughter is unable to, I run errands for him while hes on storm work bc I am still legally his wife. But my best friend, who I was in love with since I was 15 has been a constant in my life for years. Been married for over 20 years and now I made an emotional connection with a guy from 25 years ago. So we never really considered dating each other. We emailed, messaged and talked on the phone for sometime then decided to meet face to face. Curious as to how you will handle it. Some have chosen their lover and have been very happy. For 4 months now, ive developed a feeling for someone i havent even met personally. When you got married to your husband or your wife, you thought that you were in it for the long haul and that the love that existed between you would never be threatened. Your meeting had so much intensity. Because the emotions involved in the situation are so complicated, she felt completely paralyzed. You are currently in an abusive relationship and there is help available. I know nothing about this woman..not her name how she looks..nothingand there is no way I would ever have any sort of relationship with her because she knew he was married and still pursued him and broke my family apart. From then on, things went downhill. Wishing you all the best. To access it, just click here. But hes more down to earth, having this job since he was 17 years old and just live his life day by day. My husband is a nice man, a good father. He went on military operations outside my country and unfortunately I was raped and became pregnant. Though there are many reasons that would make you want to stay, if you want things to change, you will have to push him away and focus the wellbeing of yourself and your family. I both want it and dont want it. When you aremarried and in love with another manor woman, the thing is, its not so much about it being someones fault.. We then had a couple of times that we met and the feelings are unreal and very powerful. We started talking for long everyday and started to share everything and now it has reached to the level that i feel like attached to her more than my wife (situation is same for my friend too). Maybe it will save more heartache and finances down the line. I feel as now we are acting like roommates and not husband and wife. How do you navigate new love? If youre entertaining thoughts I also feel like I would be living a lie if I continued to stay with my wife knowing that Im still in love with the mother of my kids and deep down inside I really want to be with the mother of my kids but It would crush my wife if I told her .. thats where Im having a problem at cause Id rather just leave my marriage and everything behind and start over not just to be with the mother of my kids but a new start for me. He gives me something my.husband doesnt. Team Happily Committed. I always thought about him, found myself checking on him via FB, and always still loved him and wondered what if. Recently my Ex reached out to me, letting me know he still cared for me, wanted to apologize for the past. Our relationship started fifteen years ago with a friendship and after we lost contact for a few years we met again and started a loose romance from which she got pregnant with our first child. When you arein love with another manor woman who is not your spouse, is important to look at how this happened. But we are not at one page at all. His timing sure sucks and he did say that whatever I decide, he would be fine with. Because this is something that I come across from time to time in my one-on-one coaching sessions with the people I work with, I wanted to take the time to write an article for you on what to do when you are married, but in love with someone else!